500 Words

Aleppo Dreams

She rushes out of her nightmare, into the silence of night. She gasps, as though fingers are closing around her throat. Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel the peace. Push away the images. She tries, like she tries every other night. But the dreams of her first husband trample her sleep. The bombs falling through the air. The rubble. The smell of gunpowder. The blood. Her mind always ricocheting between what was and what is. Breathe in. Breathe out. She wants to reach out for his hand. But she lets him sleep. He should not be drawn into the unbearable layers of her past.

He feels her breaking out of her dream. She is gasping. Moaning. Gagging. He knows that she had stood there, bathed in her husband’s blood, screaming like an animal. That was years ago, before he married her. And he wonders if he should have married her at all. He cannot take this anymore. They have escaped, but cannot escape the haunting of her husband. He feels her reach out for him and then her hesitation. He moves away. He cannot comfort her. His life too has been riddled with loss.

They resort to sleeping separately. First, he on the floor and she on the bed. Then to different rooms. He claims her dreams keep him awake and he cannot concentrate on the present. She agrees, and is relieved. It is time to move on, but she is fettered. She has nothing to offer him. Together they have memories of trying to forget their individual pains. Together they left their country and struggled to gain a new identity. But they have no identity. Only a past. Only a story. Only a dream.

Then one day, years later, he will dream. He will dream of paradise. The streets of Aleppo alive with celebration. The arghul filling his heart with the music of his childhood. Men dancing the dabka, swirling, kicking and clapping. Their energy thrusting into the air. The smells of sheesh kebabs and shawerma spilling out of cafes and driving him closer to ecstasy. Bakalava, like only his mother could have made, dropping bit by bit onto his hungry, greedy tongue. And he will see her in this dream. Gliding in swathes of cloth, her laughter tinkling and merging with the sweet giggles of his daughters, the husky guffaws of his mother, the laughter of his first wife. Her voice long forgotten. Their warm breath will caress his face and he will reach for her. But find emptiness. She is long gone. And he?  His body will not be strong or young. It’ll be just like a pressed leaf. The memory of youth. Only the skeleton and veins will remain.

(First published in The Lampeter Review and then in Flash Flood Journal)

Mind Games

There she was at the window, steam creating a misty blur on the glass. Her head bent, she was probably doing the washing up. Laura peered over the hydrangea bushes, standing on her tiptoes to get a better look. She had not acknowledged Laura ever since that fateful day. Laura had been concerned, but she had ignored the hesitant knocks on the door, the note scrawled untidily, offering to bring over some soup. Laura tried to be a good neighbour, but she hadn’t allowed it. Slowly Laura tapered off, leaving her to herself. She had now started to leave the empty milk bottle outside the door again, and would collect the fresh one in the morning. Laura had hated to see the milk curdle on the doorstep, incriminating her with that small move. She had resumed listening to Woman’s Hour on the patio, stirring her tea with a metallic clink.

So why was she crying now? Laura looked again. She had been getting over it, Laura had presumed. But today she stood at the sink, enveloped in steam, gently wiping her eyes. Perhaps she ought to call on her, Laura thought. Try to win her over again. But would she respond?

***

Pam was aware of her hovering about in the garden and refused to make eye contact. She was behind the hydrangea bushes, surely on tiptoes, trying to get a look in. Every time Pam saw her, she remembered how that woman had been responsible for Pasha’s death. The shameless woman had tried to make up for it with promises of soup. What a cold-hearted murderer. Pam leaned over the sink, letting the steam soften the sting in her eyes. She had purposely left the milk to curdle on the doorstep for weeks, hoping to drive the thorn of guilt straight into Laura’s heart. Poor old Pasha, crushed under that woman’s car. The thought of it sent shivers through her body. She had been sorry, of course. But that was not enough. Laura had to suffer. Pam would make sure she suffered.

Pam stood at the sink, enveloped in steam and gently wiped her eyes. If Laura came over to make amends she wouldn’t respond, yet. She dabbed her face with a tea towel and turned away from the window. Picking up the knife, she continued to chop the onions.

(Published in Spelk Fiction)

Steady on (250 words)

They reach the corner and stop. The filth is bobbing around their waist. A rat swims past. A sanitary pad floats up to her. She turns and retches. “Look what you’ve done,” he shouts. And now around them, bubbling like stew, her breakfast. They move on, slowly, dragging their feet. They mustn’t fall into an open manhole. She’s sobbing. The rain washes her salty tears away. Her eyes sting and she cannot see very far. She wants to throw these clothes away. She wants to peel her skin off. She holds on to his shoulder as he tests each footfall.  There are others, like them, balancing in the water. Lurching. Slipping. Clutching to one another for support. The sharp pain hits the side of her belly. She screams. He holds her up and comforts her. They can do it. They must do it. There are helping hands along the way. She stays focussed. Ignore the pain and keep moving, is his mantra. Today of all days, she curses under her breath. Try to hold back, he urges her. But no, there is no way out. She shuts her eyes and immediately a picture of her Gods and Goddesses with garlands round their necks springs to mind. She wades, comforted by their image. The filthy floodwater swishes around like a whirlpool, threatening to swallow her whole. But she perseveres. They reach the fluorescent lobby of the hospital. A starched white nurse reaches out for her. Her waters break.

 (Published in Flash - The International Short-Short Story magazine)

It’s Pizza night, Mum.

We scream and race around the room, throwing our schoolbags on the floor. But there’s no smell of pizza. No plates or forks or knives on the table. No Mum. Where is mum? Muuuuum! Robbie attacks us with a candlestick, his light sabre.  Miah recoils, giggles and runs. Where is she? She had promised pepperoni and cheese. I’m desperate for the toilet. I rush in and Mum’s on the floor, her eyes all funny. I watch a line of red run down her mouth.  It’s pizza night, Mum, I say, shaking her body hard. She remains still. 

(100 words)