Flash Mob 2013
Celebrating Flash Fiction Day on 22nd June
Showcasing more than 100 stories from more than 100 participating writers from all over the globe. You can read more stories by clicking on the photos of writers here:
http://flashmob2013.wordpress.com/
Here's my contribution to the mob!
Fall
"Taxi," they shout,
running out of Central Park. Bridal gown bunched up in one hand, veil
floating on an October breeze, she laughs. Tuxedo tails flying, he clutches her
bouquet of yellow dahlias and kisses her lips. Rust maple leaves dance over
their shoulders and circle to the ground. They giggle as a taxi pulls up. I
stop and watch. Her sandal falls out as she jumps in. She blows me a kiss and
throws the other one out as they speed away. I pick them up. Sugar spun
sandals. My work worn feet won’t stand a chance. I throw them in the bin.
I don’t want her shoes, I want her life. I
take a deep breath and resume sweeping.
floating on an October breeze, she laughs. Tuxedo tails flying, he clutches her bouquet of yellow dahlias and kisses her lips. Rust maple leaves dance over their shoulders and circle to the ground. They giggle as a taxi pulls up. I stop and watch. Her sandal falls out as she jumps in. She blows me a kiss and throws the other one out as they speed away. I pick them up. Sugar spun sandals. My work worn feet won’t stand a chance. I throw them in the bin.
I don’t want her shoes, I want her life. I take a deep breath and resume sweeping.
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| http://joellemartinezphotography.com/wedding-couple/ |
Giving birth.
Not for me, she says.
I wonder what kind of woman talks about that on her first date. It’s gory. Painful. Bloody. A total waste of time. And when they are ready to go, you lose them forever. I wince at her unkind words and slide a fraction away from her. We sit silently on the bench, sunshine warming our shoulders. Children fly kites by the water’s edge. Their laughter and shouts reach up to us.
She stares at them, fists clenched. Pain. Blood. Loss. She whispers. I see tears in her eyes and inch slowly back towards her.
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| Picture Courtesy: http://www.stephendaitergallery.com |
This took my breath away and left me with a bit of heartache. Nice job.
ReplyDeletethank you!
ReplyDeleteI like the depth behind this story. It's short, but it packs a punch. I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteYou packed a lot of emotion in such a short space Susmita, very well done. Welcome to Friday Flash!
ReplyDeleteVery nice. The narrator's shifting away, then shifting toward his date did a good job of capturing the snap judgements, then quick revisions, that go on in our heads when we are getting to know a new person. With a minimum of words too. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteHow did the birth subject come up on a first date?
ReplyDeleteTaut writing; an impressive debut.
I don't know how you set this up, or if my computer is failing, but I can't comment separately on this week's story "Fall."
ReplyDeleteIf this is appropriate, I have to say, this is wonderul. You have managed to give a full story in so few words--impressive in itself, but "Fall" also sort of sucker punches the reader.
I loved these, 'I don't want her shoes, I want her life', brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tracy
ReplyDeleteGreat story in such a short space! And I love the accompanying photo -- gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteVivid portraits. I want to read them both multiple times. I think they're going to stay with me.
ReplyDeleteI read both of them; would have applauded if it wasn't for cyberspace.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you start your stories, with vivid explanation of surroundings and the description of activities.
I haven't had much experience of flash fiction, But now that I have, fall is my most favorite flash fiction story.
For this much short, I never wrote a story. Perhaps I could learn.
Thanks Ashutosh. And go for it, don't be afraid to write :-)
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